you wanna fight? alright let’s take this outside! the stars are so bright tonight. the moon looks so nice. hold my hand
a man smuggles marijuana onto an airplane. about 30 minutes into the flight he goes to a restroom, lights up a joint and starts masturbating. a flight attendant notices and alerts the crew that someone is hijacking the plane.
think about the concept of a library. that’s one thing that humanity didn’t fuck up. we did a good thing when we made libraries
man i wish homophobic people were actually AFRAID of gay people like could you imagine having the power to strike fear in peoples hearts with your homo
"If I do not have one trazillion dollars on my doorstep by noon tomorrow, I swear I will KISS THIS WOMAN on the MOUTH in front of your children.”